Friends or Lovers

We traveled the world on separate paths
stealing glances between the trees
and sharing moments from afar
Though our voices could call out in comfort
our hands could never touch
and no matter how dear or true
our hearts might have been
they could never beat as one

As we moved along
two lives in parallel
we swapped stories on quiet nights
and bared ourselves like never before
we marched forward
pushing through tragedy and triumph
with a constant eye to the path beyond
aching for what awaited through the howling trees

Though we picked up fellow travelers
and bonded with other souls
the face beyond the trees haunted us both
But as two lives in parallel
doomed never to meet
we made our own happiness
and found our own dreams
while waiting for the two paths to meet

Yet, even as we wished on every star
for our roads to intersect
we knew we could be in the arms of another
unable to share the desired embrace
Still, no cruel twist of fate
could keep our two souls apart
and whether we meet as friends or lovers
neither shall endure a broken heart

So as we stand here silently
two faces between the trees
let's raise our glass
to toast the stars
and give thanks to friends and lovers
For no matter which role you play
the result will be the same
two hearts will be light
at least for one day

Frail Destiny

You broke a thousand hearts
on your way to mine
you tore through a thousand lonely souls
and shattered a thousand dreams
before a twist of fate
brought you to my door

Now you've moved on
following the scent of loneliness
down a trail of desperation
to another victim
one who smiles unaware
just like I did in the months before

But time will be kind to me
as it is to most gentle souls
though we break like twigs
in the howling winds of today
the rains of tomorrow make us strong
and let us grow into a forest that can never be broken

You will remain hollow, empty and weak
even as I grow stronger
and some day love will find you
following the scent of your loneliness
and it will break you with ease
a rotten tree falling to a draft

So even as I cry for you
and nurse my broken heart
I offer no words of anger
nor carry any ill desires
For your fate is your own
and destiny spites you enough
while I'll miss you on lonely nights
I can not hate what I pity so much
nor condem that which has condemned itself

Beautiful

How can I show you
that you are beautiful
when you always look the other way
Finding imperfections
with every living breath
feeding yourself deceit
every night as you lie in bed

How can I show you
that you are beautiful
when you see only flaws in the diamond
and not the sparkle that it holds
You judge yourself with consequence
tearing down what nature built
and turning it into darkness cold

How can I show you
that you are beautiful
when you don't look into the mirror
save with tear-streaked eyes
How can you see yourself as I do
when you're peering through a looking glass
warped by doubt and loathing
brewed within your mind

How can I show you
that you are beautiful
when your beauty is just too much
and leaves me lost for words
choking on every thought
while trying to explain something so clear
that it is written all over your face

How can I show you
that you're beautiful
when the world is not enough
and a million voices
fail to change your song
unable to silence
the doubt that beats away

No I can't show you
that you're beautiful
No matter how hard I try
But I'll whisper it to you every night
as you drift off to sleep
and hope that one morning
you'll wake up with eyes wide open
and see yourself as I do

A perfect diamond
A stunning reflection
and a ray of sun
piercing my own darkness
taking the clouds away

Turning Corners

I can't escape you
no matter how many times I turn around
I see you there
looking back at me
your beautiful face
too tempting to resist
your smile
too wonderful to deny

Not a day goes by
that you don't cross my mind
Try as I might to shut you out
I'm powerless against the stray thoughts
that wonder in when my mind is quiet
or my heart is in need of a smile

I need to forget you
I need to find a different path
but you made me so happy
and loved me so openly
that I can never forget what we shared
Even as the years push us apart
and time fades those joyful memories
I feel drawn to you
lost in you
and hopelessly entranced by you

I hope you find your happiness
even in the arms of another
No matter if the vision destroys me slowly
I know you deserve something more
than an absentee lover
waiting to take you home

Just know that around every corner I turn
I will see you looking back
Your face both beautiful and haunting
a welcome image
of a broken heart

I cherish our memories
and wish things could be different
but no matter how much I love you
I can never change what is
what was
or what has to be

So find your peace
and enjoy your life without me
But promise you'll think of me on those still nights
when I'm turning corners in my mind
and staring deep into your loving eyes
but missing your gentle touch
or heartfelt words

Give me thoughts of warmth
to let this shivering soul have some peace
don't let me slip into cold oblivion
and let me remember when you were mine
when life was easier
and nothing more need be said

Yesteryear

Walking down the streets of an ancient world
touching bricks covered in history
while following the footsteps of kings and queens
the feeling of home begins to settle in
and the past begins to draw near
like a previous act
of a play you're now starring in

It all comes together
walking down these foggy streets
passing under street lamps untouched by time
and by windows that have stared out on the world
since there has been one to be found
Everything makes sense
yesterday and tomorrow
next week and yesteryear

No matter the trials you face
and whether you quit or triumph
these walls will still be here
Even after you're gone
and just a memory to those who loved you
these foggy streets will play host
to those who want to follow kings and queens long gone
and even after you're forgotten
just a name in a dust-covered book
these windows will remember you
turning a forgotten heart into a piece of history
and an overlooked actor
into the most amazing theater ever created

Uncertainty

Looking toward the future
with a frightened eye
staring down uncertainty
trying to pass the quiet nights
without letting my mind go astray

There are too many thoughts
I can't bear to think
too many possibilities
I don't have the courage to consider

I'm not scared of the future
just blinded by dreams gone awry
living in a past
checkered with defeats
and cradling ideals long since lost and forgotten

No journey has gone the direction I planned
No sprint has moved at the pace I wanted
So now I sit here
completely out of dreams
pining for what should have been
but never will be
frightened by possibilities turned into destinies
and clinging on to improbable hope
slipping through my fingers

Uncertain about everything
save what I fear
Destined for nothing
but what I despise

There is no glorious future
there is no happy end
just a game of self-deceit
that never quite fulfills

Outcast

Standing alone under an evening sky
watching the world spin around me
I see the faces of lost souls
dancing in the winds of change
and pouring through the sands of time

No one sees me standing there
Turning away when I don't dance to the beat
or march to the drums of a thousand fools
They pretend I'm not there
whispering about me as if I couldn't hear
just a piece of broken furniture
a part of the scenery
simply waiting to be thrown away

But there I stand
all alone to tomorrow
quietly challenging the song around me
by refusing to sing along
Instead watching as empty hearts walk along
looking past the invisible child
just standing there
waiting for the rain

And it's there I'll stand in a thousand years
long after the dance has carried the fools away
even after my body has given in to the grip of time
my place will remain unchanged

For I am the outcast
the one who refused the dance of a thousand fools
forced to suffer the wind and the rain
and stand transparent to the world around me
But the only one to remain
when the music stops and time marches on
grinding the dancers into dust
and scattering their memory to the winds of change

Though I'm left to an empty world
you'll never see sorrow in my eyes
I'll raise my glass with the other invisible souls
as we watch the last grains in hourglass of time
trickle through to the bottom
winding down the universe
letting us know our work is done
and that the ageless can now age no more

97 Percent

When I look into your eyes
I see that something has been left behind
through the smiles and gentle kisses
I see a heart still longing
a touch left unfulfilled
a kiss that is vapor to the wind

I'm ninety-seven percent of what you need
inches away from being complete
I could be your everything
your only wish
your only dream
if only I weren't so human
and so bound within myself

But instead I'm ninety-seven percent
leaving love unfulfilled
and dreams untouched
just an imperfect hand
grasping at perfection
watching as you drift to the horizon
with your sliver of emptiness eating you away
seeking perfection with longing eyes
leaving me behind with every step you take

I know it's only time until you're gone
the quest for completion pulling you away
leaving my only dream shattered
my everything gone
and the ninety-seven percent of what I was destroyed
Too imperfect to be immortal
and not enough to be your one true love
just inches away from keeping you
but miles away from feeling your embrace

I can only watch as you disappear
into the blinding horizon light
slipping into your perfect love
without my ninety-seven percent heart
or the emptiness it leaves inside

Late-Night Diner

Sitting in a late-night diner
ordering the stiffest drink they sell
twisting cigarettes into the tabletops
and drifting with my mind
Another night alone
given to misspent folly
trading one emptiness for another
and opening up the wounds all over again.

With my back against the wall
I watch the seconds tick away
twirling my finger in cold coffee
passing the time until the tears fade away
trying to decide just who I am
searching for answers in the hazy air around me

Lost and hopeless
trying to find my way through a smoky diner
and hoping to find truth in the arms of another
But all I see is a revolving door
just a million pieces of flesh
each like the last
parading before my eyes

The air is thick and cold
my body turning numb
listening for my beating heart
in the stiffening silence around me
Stuck teary-eyed and alone
stirring coffee in a late-night diner
trying to find something higher in the haze
as I wonder among broken dreams
and the shattered hearts around me

As I leave
I know the way I walk
I know the streets well
and I know the city around me
But no matter how many times
my feet carry me to my door
and into the comfort of my bed
I'll never know the way home
in this sea of misspent nights
too blinded by the tears and haze of a late-night diner
and the swirls of a stirring cup of cold coffee
shifting idly at my lap

Ghost Within My Mind

I would have told you I love you
if we hadn't been saying goodbye
With the end always a breath away
it never seemed real to me
like vapors disappearing before my eyes
and even though you're gone today
there's a ghost lurking within my mind

I wanted you to know me
to make sense of a heart gone wrong
I wanted you to need me like I needed you
and to wash away the sins of thought and deed
You were too perfect to grasp
and too wonderful to touch
but now that you're gone
all I have are memories fading
and a ghost walking withing my mind

It's only now that you haunt me
on quiet, lonely nights
when the wind carries your name into my ears
leaving me adrift in a sea of regret and remorse
I can't face who I am
much less what I've become
Just a wounded soul living in an broken heart
walking these empty halls
hoping to catch a glimpse
of the ghost stalking within my mind

Seven Years

Seven years
I've spent trying to dodge the lies
living life from joy
to meaningless joy
filling the void with shameful highs
and pretending it's the dream I kept inside

I've given into temptation
until there's nothing left to surrender
and now I only see tearful nights awaiting me
as I stare into my future's horizon

Because it's just another need to me
like the food I eat
it's hunger cured with shame
and a pain that stains my pillow
when I try to rest on those empty nights
wasted where I don't belong
getting things I'll never need

I never beat my demons
just changed them ones with smiling faces
while carrying promises never meant to be held
I pretended everything was fine
when I was more broken than ever
just a shell of who I could have been
and a shadow of what I was before

I want to turn and face the truth
but how can I fight who I am
How can I conquer what I need
when I feel it beating within my veins

So as I lay here
temporarily pacified
with tears of shame streaked across my face
and broken promises ringing in my head
I cower in the dark again
too weak to stand up to myself
powerless to challenge who I am
even as the world plays my weaknesses
like a bow on a violin
I know the struggle will never end
only abated by momentary joys

Even when gazing into the eyes of love
I'm just a pathetic soul
born again just to be sacrificed
like so many times before
in these seven years
I've lived through the blur of addict's eyes
where highs are lows
and everything in between is a bed of lies
and though I see the truth now
and gaze upon my sins with open mind
the world remains unchanged

For it's seven years until tomorrow
tomorrow when I'll be broken again
just another empty day
spent bowing before my vices
while trying to call it life
between dodging the lies
and living the meaningless joys
I've come to know so well

Night Sun

The night sun burns bright this evening
as it watches us dance in the rain
We pick its fruits
and share its bounty
as we embrace its cold, crystal air
It sparkles in our eyes
with every longing gaze
and fills the air
between every soft kiss
It opens up the darkness
so we can live as kings
owning the world around us
freeing us from the burdens of man
and the inhibitions of mortal life
It gives us
two hopeless lovers
a place to call our own
as the rest of the world
cools in the shroud of darkness
and slumbers the hours away
The night sun is our sun
It asks for nothing
It takes nothing
Instead offering us a place to dance
hand in hand
until the morning comes
Watching us with misty tears
that turn to dew as they touch the grass
beneath the feet of two hopeless lovers
who are finding one another
in a clearing of darkness
made by the smiling face of the nighttime sun
and owned for a moments eternity
by two lovers dancing
in the cold midnight rain

Electric Touch

I remember the electricity
when our hands first touched
the newness
the excitement
the taste of the forbidden.

It was a breaking of tension
the end of a game
and the beginning of so much more

As our lips touched
tasting each other
first softly
then firmly
then openly
we watched our inhibitions float away
turning unthinkable thoughts
into heavenly deeds
as our willpower collapsed
in the wind a quivering breath

But as we fade from mortal souls
and slip into a torrent of passion and desire
let's not fool ourselves about forever
nor pretend this is something grand

Let's be in love for one night
so we can watch it fade
when the morning comes

Let's live a lifetime
in these moonlight hours
and never look back in the dawn

Because we both have lives to lead
and our own trails to blaze
and even though tonight we burn for each other
our fire will smolder and die
under the weight of the morning dew

And then we can spend the rest of our lives
forgetting about this night
the night we gave in to an electric touch
and caressed away our deepest desires

Repetition

Open up the wounds
let the heartache flow again
watch me turn to my addictions
and let temptation be my guide
I'll quell the pain with thoughts of lust
drown the tears in temporary joys
as I'm tripping up the stairs of life
falling on every step I climb
It's a blind charge through endless repetition
running into doors I've closed
with a history of lies
I can't do the things I love anymore
I only love one thing now
and it calls to me
at times like these
like a lover lost in the night
it finds me with open arms
and pulls me aside
Am I strong enough to win this fight?
Can I do this all again?
As my strength cracks and breaks
I see how I've lied to myself
about the twisted merry-go-round I'm riding
and how long I can hold on
before I'm hurled aside for good
Because even though there's determination
lurking within my eyes
I can still feel myself fading
disappearing within my mind
There is no exit from this place
There is no victory to be found
Just another day of trials
another day to watch myself grow weak
It's just my fate
and the cross I bear
watching life turn around
spinning with the hands of the clock
opening up everything that was old
memories I tried to forget
become new again
and I'm sliding
as I’m racing to the end
holding on as strong
as my shattered will allows
waiting until I finally slip
and drift into nothingness
losing myself for good
and forever ending
this senseless repetition

Where Are You Now?

Sometimes I think of you
and wonder where you are
and if you think of me on lonely nights
or dream about me when there's nothing left to dream
I don't expect you to miss me
and I know the phone will never ring
with your voice hanging on the other line
but I have to know
if I'm in your thoughts
or if you forgot about me
like you promised you never would
I can't bear the thought
of what we shared
being nothing than a footnote
in a forgotten chapter of your life
and even though I only think of you
during the loneliest hours of the night
Part of me is still hoping
that you're thinking of me
when I'm busy not thinking of you
So shed not a tear for what we lost
nor heave a sigh for what could have been
Just let me grace your thoughts
when the night hangs long and low
and everything will be right when we awake
in the worlds we've created
in the many years we've been apart

Summer Night

On a long and solemn night
in the middle of a southern summer
we sat underneath the moonlight
whispering in the dark
though a million words were said
not a one could be heard
over the sound of teardrops falling
into the dew-soaked grass
Just when the shattering of two hearts
grew too much to bear
our minds started wondering
pondering what was said
searching for right answers
to questions never asked
seeking what could have been
while watching what we had blow away
with the winds of heavy breaths
Slowly we found ourselves hanging to every word
like reading the last chapter slowly
just trying to postpone the end
Because when we run out of things to say
and goodbye can be said no more
we're disappearing into the distance
like mist fading into the cooling air
Soon there will only be memories
and the photographs that remain
cold comfort for an empty pillow
and the questions wrapped around my head
I just hope that you think of me
at least until the end of time
that you won't lose me like I lost you
on that solemn night
when the teardrops fell through the warm summer air

Understanding

I don't expect you to understand me
I know how I act
the words that I say
the things that I feel
and the way that I live my life
are all mysteries to you.
You held me
you cherished me
and now you watch me disappear
fading into the mist of a darkened wood
heading down paths you dare not tread
and opening doors you thought locked for good
But that's where we're different
you and I
where you saw safety
I saw a prison
Where you saw a closed door
I saw opportunity
Where you saw taboo
I saw nothing but emptiness and lies
So no, I don't expect you to understand me
No more than I understand you
and your laws
and your petty ideals
But I ask you to let me live
as I let you
Give me the freedom I crave
Spare me your ill tongue
or your spiteful gaze
I offer neither to you
All I seek is the freedom I need
the freedom to open the doors
the freedom to chase my trails
and the freedom to follow the dreams that suit me
That is all I ask of you
and that is all I ask of the world.
Because I can break all of the ties that bind me
save the ones imposed by my fellow man
in a senseless bid for safety
in a world missing all notion of compassion
I can throw my shackles aside
and unlock my own chains
all while rotting in a world devoid
of even the basic concept of understanding

In the Dark

There are times when I’m inconsolable
when the world around me becomes too much
and my demons come out to feast on me again
There are times when I’m hopeless
when I’m too lost to return home
and I don’t need your comforting touch
I just need to be left alone to sit quietly in the dark

Don’t offer me a friendly hand
nor a tender embrace of love
Just let me surround myself with shadows
and let my troubles eat me whole
Don’t try to save me when I can’t be saved
and keep your tender words for another day
a day when the tides of my heart have changed
and my soul flows the other way

But until that time remember that I love you
and that you’re still the keeper of my heart
but for the moment love is not my friend
and your tender touch and sweetest smile
are like poison to my aching soul
So let me be
Let me sit alone in the dark
Let me find comfort in forgotten lusts
Let me bandage my heart with solitude
and dry my tears with time

I know that you understand
and I pray that you’ll return
Because I long for when I can emerge from these shadows
and once again cherish the smile glistening
across your sweet, tender face

Open Fire

I saw you today
tossing love letters into an open fire
letting our memories burn and twist
in the somber setting
of a silent flame
I know that you're hurting love
I know that what I've done is wrong
and that tears can't extinguish
this kind of roaring flame
But don't let it be over
don't let our love disappear
too much blood and ink
have been spilled
to just turn it all to smoke
rising out of an open fire
If I meant anything to you
and if our love has to be a memory
please bury it under lock and key
and don't let it spread in the winds
that cut through this autumn air
I know that you owe me nothing
especially not my dignity or my respect
but I'd like to be remembered my love
even if only in spite
I want my words to have more meaning
than just a column of wind-whipped smoke
and I want our memories to last longer
than a small box of hand-written letters
tossed into the heart
of a roaring open fire

New Moon

There's a new moon out tonight
and it's the darkest night of the year
You can hear children crawling beneath their beds
and clutching their sheets in fear
while murmuring their prayers and hitting their lights
as they wait for the sun to appear

There's a new moon out tonight
and it's the coldest night I've seen
Lovers lay close by fires burning bright
slowly breathing in the soothing scene
as they smell the smoke from a thousand chimneys
and watch as they give the air a hint of filthy green

There's a new moon out tonight
and it's the quietest ever heard
No cars nor boots traverse the streets
as the night forever remains unstirred
with its perfect stillness only broken
by the silent flapping of shadowy birds

There's a new moon out tonight
and I can feel it call my name
Though it sits still and cold
it whispers all the same
calling me to walk the empty streets
perhaps to join her in a game

So though there's a new moon out tonight
it rests alone no more
It has me by its side
to share the things the night has in store
and it's there I'll walk in the chilling air
until my moon sinks below the floor
only to rise again another night
to call me out my door

Fist of Dreams

As time goes by
I've found myself gripping my life
tighter and tighter
clinching my dreams in the palm of my hand
protecting them from the winds that howl around me
Like grains of sand they slip through my fingertips
first one
then another
then another
each of them crawling out of my tight embrace
before finding a trail of wind
and floating into distant oblivion
I feel my fist of dreams get lighter and lighter
I watch my smiles and hopes get carried off in the breeze
and I smell the vapour of a thousand broken promises drifting away
it's as if the grains of my life are marching
marching away to the meter of a quickening clock
Hours pass like minutes
minutes pass like seconds
and soon my hand feels empty
so hollow and betrayed
With a heavy heart
and tear-streaked eyes
I slowly open my fist
and there, in the middle of my palm
rested the last dream I held
It was an unimportant, meaningless dream
forgotten so long ago
With it's brothers and sisters all gone
it seemed so petty and trite
like a shadow of a faded image
or a memory of a an ideal long discarded
I had no choice but to let it fall
and watch it float like a leaf to the ground
All that I can do is hope someone will see it there
and take it up as their own
or that some lost heart will catch one of my countless dreams
as they're blown away by the winds that howl around me

Teardrops

I remember how it began
with tempers flaring and heartache nearing
We were saying words never meant to be said
and now we're hurting one another just because
we were too weak to face ourselves
We cry because we love
We cry because we care
But we forget that in this world
everything has a price
and that even teardrops aren't free

I held your head in my arms
and I tried to caress the pain away
But no matter how much I wiped your eyes
or took back the words I said
I couldn't stop you from hurting
and as pain creates pain
and suffering creates suffering
It becomes clear that we live in a world
where everything has a price
and even teardrops aren't free

As I'm driving off into the distance
I can see you standing there waving
with the tears still fresh on your face
I try to remember every word we said
and I try to understand the price I'm paying
as I speed into the darkness of uncertainty
leaving pieces of myself behind
pieces that are mere tokens demanded by a world
where everything has a price
and even teardrops aren't free

Now we're miles apart my love
and I haven't seen your face in years
but your pale blue eyes still haunt me
every night as I drift off to sleep
I hear you've moved on with your life
and that you've found another lover
one that only makes you smile
But I'm still crying my love
I'm still caressing the pain
and I'm still paying the toll claimed by this world
where everything has a price
and even teardrops aren't free

Searching

Somewhere near the shores of dreaming
overlooking the cliffs of humanity
there is a spot where the rocks jut skyward
and the seas of pleasure and pain meet
before crashing into the pillar of stone
Though the sun is always shining bright
and the view is forever perfectly clear
there is nothing but confusion and chaos
upon this column of jagged stone

This is where our hearts are forged
where our very souls are cast and made
But most of all, it is where we all return
on those endless nights when we're searching
searching for something more

Each and every one of us has been here
though none of us have seen this place
We've all stood upon that mighty stone
and stared longingly into space
We dream of Gods and demons
we dream of memories gone by
we inhale the salty scent of love and heartache
as the seas of agony an extacy mingle at our feet

We all know this place exists
we feel it in the pit of our being
We know the loneliess found atop the stone
and the frustration of never seeing enough
We've all leaned forward that one hair too far
and screamed as we were grabbed by the sea beneath us
where we get tossed and turned
just another lost soul trying to swim for shore
while drowning in himself

But it's there on the shores of dreaming
as wet, naked and battered souls
we finally gain the wisdom we sought
As we cough up the last drops of misery
we see the miracle in just being alive
Overwhelmed, we start dancing
skipping down the black glass beach of dreaming
singing a song, flinging the notes at the air

Maybe we're laughing at teardrops
or crying at the wind
but at least we're free from that jagged stone
at least until we come searching
searching again for something more…

Serpent

There's a serpent wrapped around my heart
and he's smiling up at me
He hisses softly as he squeezes tighter
slowly strangling me with every beat
Though I fight and though I scream
I'm helpless as he wrings the tears from my eyes
All I can do is watch in silence
as he crushes my soul and feasts on its remains
Even though I want him to go
I can't ask him to leave
because I don't even know his name

There's a serpent wrapped around my heart
and he looks like he's ready to strike
He's hungrily eyeing everything I have
and licking his fangs in desire
He sees my friends, he sees my love
and he wants them all for himself
If I just let him out he'd devour it all
and grow fat with misery inside my chest
But though I want him to stop
I can't ask him to leave
because I don't even know his name

There's a serpent wrapped around my heart
and now he's calling out to me.
He knows who I am
He knows what I want
and with forked-tongue whispers
he works it all against me
He tries to fill me with hate
by pumping me full of greed and disgust
thus shattering what little will I had before
And though I don't want his curse
I can't ask him to leave
because he doesn't even have a name

Just Words

I said "I love you" today
I tried hard to make you believe it
I tried hard to believe it myself
But the truth is that I hate you my love
I hate you now
and I hated you when I said it
When I look into your eyes
all that I can see
is a string of broken promises
lies stacked upon lies
things that you wanted to do but never tried
and the countless missed opportunities created by
the millions of precious moments I'll never get back
Yes, I hate you
I hate who you are
I hate what you've made me
and most of all I hate what we've become
Even if I could love you
and all of your cruel ways
I could never love what we've become
a sickening, rotten display of denial
a putrid example of naivete run amok
and a horrid case of idealism gone too far
I don't love you
but I love who you were supposed to be
I love what I thought you were
but you never understood yourself
you never make an attempt to understand me
and now no one
not even the Gods above
can understand us
So why, why do I say I love you?
Is it a reflex
or perhaps just words uttered in fear?
No, my love, I say I love you because they are just words to me
words like any other in the language
the only difference is that they're the ones you want to hear
and until you want to hear others
I'll repeat them to you again and again and again
just because I've lost the will to fight
I've lost the heart to argue
and I truly don't care enough to speak the truth
If that's your idea of love
then I hope you enjoy it
It's the way you made me
the way you taught me
the way you groomed me
and I hope you enjoy your "I love yous"
because I know you've worked so hard for them
and even though they're shallow and wasted
they're just like the love we share
I think even you can agree
that they're the perfect words for you
even if they're words just like
any other words in the language.

Rocket Ships

I remember well sitting in class
making models of airplanes
and drawing pictures of rocket ships
I saw myself as a pilot
soaring far above the clouds
or as an astronaut
tearing through the blackness of space
To me, time was infinite
the days were always sunny
and if I needed a new dream
all I had to do was take a look
at one of my perfect drawings of rocket ships

But then the teacher came to me
and told me that my drawings were wrong
The class was making pictures of rainbows and butterflies
and there was no room for my rocket ships
To this day I can hear the children laughing at me
and I can still feel their fingers pointing at my tears
For me, every second seemed like an eternity
as the storm clouds rolled across my mind
and those precious dreams faded away
with tears dripping on the paper I held
I ripped apart those perfect drawings of rocket ships

Now I draw different pictures
Pictures of the images in my mind
No one tells me there's no room for my drawings
No one laughs at me for what I make
Rather, they just turn away
too scared too scared to look at my work
they leave me to wonder how I became who I am
turned into a man with no time for senseless things
a man with too busy crying to notice the rain
and a man without the stomach to dream
because he cries when he hears about astronauts
and weeps at pictures of rocket ships

On The Corner

If you go down to the corner
of Kings and Queens
you'll find the classiest shops
and countless boutiques
selling priceless antiques
But somewhere amongst
the glitter and fashion
you'll find a red-capped wanderer
that loves laughing at the rain

If you go down to the corner
of Kings and Queens
you'll find department stores
and the endless wails
behind the going-out-of-business sales
But somewhere amongst
all of the fear and the change
you'll find a red-capped wanderer
who loves laughing at the rain

Now if you go down to the corner
of Kings and Queens
you'll find buildings for sale
and the women so destitute
that they've become prostitutes
But somewhere among
all of the sex and the violence
You'll find a red-capped wandered
who still loves laughing at the rain

Closer To You

How we long for nights like these
Where time seems to freeze
In the chilly midnight air
And we have nothing to do
But hold each other tight
In a warm, tender embrace
But as I strain to pull you closer
Close enough to feel your heartbeat
Pounding in my hands
I see that no words are worthy
Of how I feel right now
And close to you
Is never close enough

Meaning of Love

What do you know about love?
I've touched its perfect face
I've held it tight in my arms
and kissed it to sleep each night
What can you know about love?
If you can hate something so perfect
something so beautiful
something so real
that it brings me to my knees
When I see them walking hand in hand
with bright smiles across their faces
and a look of pure joy in their eyes
I know they've touched the same love I hold
and I could never deny anyone I loved
anyone I cared about
such a perfect union of souls
Some people spend their entire lives
up until their dying breath
looking for something this beautiful
searching for something this wonderful
and that's why I could never
not in a thousand lifetimes
stand between my love and her happiness.
I could never tell her who she is
or that what she's feeling is wrong.
But there you stand
soaking in the pouring rain
shaking your head violently
disgusted by some invisible shame
What do you know about love?
How can you touch love
when your heart is filled with fear and hate?
If you understood love
even grasped the meaning of the word
you'd know it takes a million different forms
each as perfect as the last
and though I can't hate you through all my pity
when I see the pain you cause
the tears you bring
and the misery you create
I break down and cry.
Because I know then
that you'll never know the meaning of love
the true meaning of love.
But yet, in your ignorance
in your blindness and hate
you crush something so perfect
so beautiful
that it still brings me to my knees
and for that I'll never forgive you
though I'll always pity you
as you wallow in your sea of pain.

MoonDreams

If you step outside into the crystal midnight air
you can feel the moonlight dancing across your skin.
As it lights the world below with its hues of pale white
it cools everything it touches making the very air around us
seem to leap away from our faces
and hide in the shadows for safety.
One has to wonder how any reflection of the sun
can be so cruel and dim
lighting as much as it obscures
and cooling as much as it warms.
For what the sun gives
the moon takes away
sealing the world into the other side of the looking glass
leaving the earth frozen and barren
but beautiful all the same.
For when I feel the moon strike me
with it's pale rays of ice
though it brings no warmth or comfort
nonetheless it brings me life.
I know I'm trapped in the looking glass.
Just looking back at life itself
like the moonlight stretching across the earth
I'm cold and lifeless
but perhaps beautiful all the same.
So if you enjoy my moonlight
as it dances across your skin
perhaps you'll share kind words
with a face trapped in the looking glass
just trying to stay warm in the crystal midnight air.

Blanket of You

Sometimes when the weather is doing it's worst
And the rain is turning into ice
And the ice is turning into snow
I reach for a warm fire
And to wrap myself in a blanket of you

While it's not the warmth that keeps men alive
It certainly keeps me from feeling cold
It warms a man's soul
Heating him from the inside out
Like coals to a fire
Or wind to the ocean
It pushes me onward
And if I ever need protection
From one of life's many chills
All I need to do
Is wrap myself in a blanket of you

This is why no matter how horrid the weather
Or cruel the demons of life may be
I'll always have a respite
From the hardships of the world
And to find whatever warmth I crave
All I need to do is wrap myself in a blanket of you

My Generation

Line us up orderly
Make us neat and pretty
And take away everything we hold dear
Strip us of our pride
And kick us when we're down
Because we're all just corpses that never stopped breathing
And everyone one of us is doomed

Tune our brains to MTV
Make us all think alike
And tell us exactly who we are
Mass-produce our individuality
And scar us with our differences
Because we're all just corpses that never stopped breathing
And everyone one of us is doomed

March us to our cubicles
Lead us to mediocrity
And tell us it's the best life to be had
Gouge out our eyes
And wipe away all our thoughts
Because we're all just corpses that never stopped breathing
And everyone one of us is doomed

At ninety words per minute
Turn us into human cash machines
And sell pieces of our pride all the while
Make us the machines we were meant to be
And replace us when our time has come
Because we're all just corpses holding our breath
And wishing that we were doomed

Waters of Life

Into the tempest sea of life we're tossed
as if flung by the hands of some ungrateful father
we're plunged, kicking and screaming, into the insanity below.
Above us is a peaceful dream world
a place that we, as mortals, can never hope to reach
but all around us and beyond us is a sea of confusion
a mass of anger
and a cloud of self-pity
all of which we created
all of which came from our own hearts
and our own darkened humanity

As time goes on we learn the ebb and flow
of the insanity that surrounds us.
Like a leaf in the water, we ride the waves of our struggles
without direction or understanding
just the happiness of knowing we live in the shadow
of a perfect world not far beyond.
We, for a while, are unsinkable
unbreakable
and perhaps even infallible
as we shift across the dingy-gray tears
that humanity has so kindly cried at our feet.

But it's never long before the storm clouds gather
and mask the perfect world we once adored.
It's then the seas begin to bubble and leap
in a vain attempt to reach the shrouded heavens.
As one soul rises, so another must fall
and the waters of humanity begin to boil hotter and hotter
first with excitement, and then with rage.
Rage at the Gods for shrouding the dream world.
Rage at those who leap higher.
Rage at ourselves for keeping the water boiling.
And rage at a species that cannibalizes it's own soul to survive

But as the hope dies off
so is lost the fuel to keep the sea of tears boiling.
An eerie calm creeps over the gray waters
and though the sky remains storm-cloud black
not a soul moves to reach it.
The water of life is as still as a graveyard
only flowing forward at the order of father time.
It's the kind of place where insects lay their eggs
and snakes come to make their home.
But though they bring nothing but fifth and disease to those around them
they are always greeted warmly by the stale waters of life

But in just a few short seconds, it's over.
Just a short plunge over an invisible precipice.
The water never fights its fate
nor makes any attempt to reverse its course.
It just bubbles briefly as the realization sets in
and disappears into the mist below
perhaps to run the same course again
or perhaps to just disappear forever.
But regardless of what lies beyond
as each tear falls through the air for those few precious moments
It, for the first time, touches the kingdom above it so craved
and briefly breaks free from the insanity and misery
that had surrounded it for so long.

Glass Roses

I was strolling through the garden
of a house made of crystal
when I stumbled upon a bed
of gorgeous glass roses.
Carefully, I picked the tallest one
and held it against the mid-day sun
which was beating down on the garden
made of colored glass.
It was so pure and beautiful
with its petals
fashioned with great care
I loved the way it caught the light
and its colors sparkled against
the bright blue sky behind it.
It was so perfect and graceful
that when I realized it would never fade
or wilt like the roses I had held before,
I almost wept with joy.
With the wind at my back
and the silken grass at my feet
I gripped the rose tight
and kissed it gently on its cool petals
feeling its perfection against my lips.
But when I looked to the ground
to find a place to sit
I saw three drops of crimson
slide down the rose's smooth stem
and into the dust below.
On my hands were seven bleeding cuts.
And on the rose were seven blood-stained thorns.
"Even glass roses have thorns,"
I mumbled to the earth.
But unable to stand the pain
I set the rose gently on the ground
thinking I could come see it another day.
But when I returned
many years down the road,
I found the garden of glass shattered
and in the middle
the broken shards of my gorgeous glass rose.

A Goodnight Kiss

I don't know what it is about you
that always gets me this way.
But every time I see you sleeping
with your eyes fluttering gently
and your smile so warm and inviting
something deep inside breaks down
something frozen within melts
and washes away everything that's wrong
with the world as I know it.
For a brief moment the universe is perfect
and I feel I can do no wrong.
As I watch you clutch the sheets around you
pulling them warm and tight to your chin
I can find no fault in my life in the paths I have taken
or the decisions I have made.
I know that if my life were to end here and now
I would have reached the pinnacle of happiness
and perhaps some kind of deeper truth.
Because as I watch you sleep your perfect sleep
the sleep of the just
the sleep of the great
I know that even when happiness eludes my heart
and it seems the Gods are out to get me
that I can always borrow a smile
from your perfect dream
and a glimpse of a better world
in the reflections behind your fluttering eyes.

Stream Bank

I suppose we all have a place like this
somewhere we go
when the defeats of the world
just become too much to bear
and escape is our only choice.
Some people head to rooftops
where they can watch the world
unfold below them
and feel superior to the people
toiling beneath their feet
like Zeus on Olympus
or perhaps Caesar on his throne.
Others head far out
to some exotic place with palm trees
and hula skirts.
They take in the scenery
and let the pampering melt away their worries
much like Cleopatra in Egypt
or perhaps Elizabeth in England.
But me, I suppose I'm different.
When the world becomes too much
and my losses and worries too great to bear
I head not to the rooftops of New York
nor the beaches of Waikiki
but to the forest next door
to a little place I know
that rests at the edge of a stream
It's a lovely place
nestled underneath the nearby roads
far enough away to be quiet
close enough in to be reached.
But it's also a lonely place
no minions
no pampering
not even basic conversation.
Nonetheless, it's my place
my home
my center
with nothing but the sound of gurgling water
and the wind blowing through the trees.
It lets you think.
It lets you put it all in perspective
and melt the worries away for good.
But while I've traded the power of Zeus
and the pampering of Cleopatra
for the rustic styling of Thoreau
it doesn't change a thing.
It's what I need to find my strength
when all hope seems lost.
It's what I need to preserve my sanity
in the a very insane world.
I like it there
and I think it likes me too
because never once has it asked me to leave
or pushed me away.
Never once has it told me
I don't have enough money
or enough friends to stay.
You are free to keep your way
your homes of gods and kings.
Me, when the world gets to be too much
and the defeats become too much to bear
I'll still head to the same place
my quite little home
perhaps my final resting place
along the stream bank.

Picture Perfect

What the Hell happened to me?
When did I go from someone who was so mighty
so strong
and fade into the person I am today?
I used to know how to smile for God's sake
but somehow I forgot
and I haven't remembered for some time now..
The simple things that once brought me joy
have all been turned into guilty pleasures
and all the memories that made me smile
are now too faded to enjoy
I've gone from being a person
whole and complete
to being someone trapped within his own mind
a prisoner of my feelings
How can I run away
when I don't have the heart to stand?
How can I fight this
when I can't rouse the energy to care
You've won
I'm a slave now
I hope you're happy
You've caged the bird
and grounded him for life
You conquered me
scorched me
destroyed me
and now you have me on display
like a picture
just an image of what once was
flat, motionless
but easy to hold and own
I hope you enjoy your picture my dear
I'm sure you have me in a nice frame.
How much patience did it take to cage me in?
It doesn't matter
You've won either way
It's all over
You own me, place me on your shelf
and point me out to your friends.
It's my role now
my job.
I now just live to please
and if I broke free I would surely die
So use me, trash me, trade me
I don't care anymore
A heart can't beat within a frame
and you can't have a soul in 2-D
That's just the way it is
and the way it always shall be.

Watchers

I am a watcher
that is what I do
I go to crowded clubs
perhaps places I don't belong
pull up a chair
or a table in some dark corner
and watch
Sometimes people notice me
point fingers in my direction
or make loud comments
I was meant to hear
I do nothing
I just notice it
and file it away like everything else
I know people fear me
They have to
But they fear me
not because I do bad things
or even good things
but because I do nothing
nothing but watch
I know these people
I know who their friends are
what they like
what they hate
who they're sleeping with
That's what scares them
it frightens them to know that someone
somewhere
knows them unbiased
knows their weaknesses
knows their vices
perhaps even better
than they understand themselves
They fear I've passed some judgment on them
that by watching them
somehow I've ranked them
They just don't understand me
I pass no judgment
For I am a watcher
I am a witness
I am no judge
It's not my place to uphold or condemn
But I do meet these judges
They come up to me
and ask me things
Perhaps curious about me
or maybe just trying to tap into my wisdom
for their own selfish benefit
But I do not speak truthfully to them
My wisdom is my own
and I never part with it
I just talk in riddles
and watch as they try to make sense of them
For that is what I do
I am a watcher
I watch Gods, judges and men all the same
In a darkened corner
of some crowded club
never interfering
never changing
always learning
and forever watching
for that is all I do
and ever will do
For I am a watcher
and will be until I die
and perhaps even past then.

Glass of Tears

So there I was
just sitting at the bar
with my head hanging low
remembering the good times we had.
I would have crawled into a bottle of whisky
but decided instead to fill my glass with tears.
I came there to sit with the drunks
perhaps to meet someone more miserable than myself.
Though I heard sob stories
and tragedies of all kinds
they only made me miss you all the more

What is a guy supposed to do
when the woman he loves breaks his heart?
How's he supposed to react when his trust
his love
his life
has been broken?

He listens to tales of ancient heartbreak
while drinking deep from a glass of tears
He puts a quarter in the jukebox
and plays the saddest song he can find
Because as a wise man once said,
"The only solace for a broken heart
is bitter company
and the only solace for bitter company
is a pint of bitter beer."

And though I dare not tip a glass for you
nor buy a round in your name
I'll always see your face smiling back
at the bottom of my glass of tears

Questions

Here we go again.
We're right back where we began.
Please don't act surprised
And don't pretend that you can't understand
What all of this is about.
You know that I'm always going to be me
Wondering, curious, stupid little me
Asking the questions that I can never keep at bay.
I mean, is this love the best for me?
Or does it hold me down?
By clipping my wings
Making me as useless
And as pathetic as the caged eagle.
Do I make you happy?
Or is this love an illusion
Another trick my mind has played on me?
And what about all of the fun
That I could have had?
And the things I'll never see?
I have to wonder if happiness is eluding me
Or if I am deluding myself
Drinking deep from the liquor
Of infatuation and selfish pride.
Would I be happier with someone else?
Could they make me feel special?
Could they make me feel loved?
Could we survive long nights alone?
You know, maybe this is all out of convenience
Perhaps love is just another shortcut through life
And we're just too lazy
To pack our stuff and move away.
Maybe, just too scared to try.
Am I fooling myself?
Pretending you were someone else.
Wondering why you stay around
When you know I get this way.
You have to face it my dear
I'll always bring you tears
I'll always play upon your fears
I'm always going to bring you down.
I just wish I were as strong as you.
Oh well, I guess that makes me envious too.
Maybe I just don't have a clue
Of what love means anymore.
I guess I'm just not the kind of guy
Who was meant to settle down
Or the kind that was meant to have a home
Sleeping with the same woman night after night.
Sometimes the only thing
That makes me want to stay
Is how you're always there for me.
Because whenever the questions disappear
And I wipe away the tears
I see you smiling back at me.
You've never once gotten mad at me
Nor the least bit bitter for what I've said.
You've just calmly held my hand
And told me that you understand.
No matter what hell I've put you through
You're there for me
Comforting me
And that's why I can't push you away.
Because every time I wipe my tears
I want to see you there
Smiling back at me.
You know, perhaps I question
Purely for the sake of questioning
Or perhaps it's my messed up human nature
Making me always wonder what I'm missing.
But as long as you stand by my side
And calmly hold my hand
I promise to pull through
Because even in my darkest hour
I cannot question how you feel.
It's all too obvious that you love me.
Even though I'll never know why.
Until the day I die, I'll never doubt
What you feel for me
And how you're always there for me
With your smiling face
And your loving eyes
Peeking through my tears
As I wipe them from my face.
You make me love you
And even though sometimes
I want to hate you for that
All I can do is love you back.
Because to find someone as special as you
Is such a rare and beautiful thing
That to pass it up now for any reason
Or anyone
Is an idea so ridiculous
It is beyond all questioning.

Shattered Memories

I still see you there
every time I close my eyes
You’re lying on the ground
crying out in pain
I’ve never felt so helpless
as when I heard you sob
“Get a doctor,” I shouted
In hopes someone would hear
“She’ll be ok,” some old bitch spat
“She just fell down a coupla stairs.”
“Get a doctor, call the police,” I shouted back
But she kept on walking
As you were writhing in pain
I asked you if you were ok
and where did it hurt
You asked what happened
“You fell, you fell,” I said frantically
knowing you heard nothing
“Get a doctor,” I shouted, “Get help now!”
“The police are coming,” a homeless man said
“Ol’ Jeb’s gone ta get ‘em.”
I didn’t believe him
“Someone get an ambulance now!” I screamed
You tugged at my sleeve and I looked down
Your eyes were weak and distant as you asked
“Where am I?”
“Atlanta! Atlanta!” I said, “You’re in Atlanta!”
“How did I get to Atlanta?”
I wanted to say something to you,
but it would do no good.
“Where the hell are the police?” I shouted to the man.
“They comin’, they comin’” he said.
“There’s something on my face,” you said.
“What’s on my face?”
I tried to stay calm, “It’s snow my love, just snow.”
“But there’s no snow here.”
It was about then the police showed up
Ol’ Jeb must have got them
They began to ask you questions
questions you couldn’t answer
Age, name, etc.
“Where are you hurt?” they asked
You thought hard
“My head and my shoulder.”
I didn’t smile much
They radioed for an ambulance
that couldn’t make it through the snow
Suddenly you stood up
and nearly fell again
The three of us, the police and I
sat you down on the bottom step
as you winced in pain the entire time
“We have an ambulance coming,” I cooed
“Help is coming.”
“Why is there an ambulance coming?”
“Am I hurt?”
One of the officers leaned in
“Do you know where you are ma’am?”
The look in your eyes changed
a smile crept across your face
“I’m in Atlanta,” you replied.
I let out a silent cheer
and even the snow seemed to stop for a moment
“We visited my parents and were going home,” you continued
“Yes!” I cried out
Relief washed over me
and I began to calm down
“But I thought that was just a dream,” you said.
I tensed up.
I almost broke down and cried right then.
“No sweetie, it was real, it was all real.”
I didn’t get a moment to breathe
because the ambulance showed up
they too began to ask questions
Age, name, etc.
But this time you answered.
With every right answer, I restrained a cheer
When they were done, you looked at me
“So everything was real?” you asked.
“Yes, it was, everything was real
and now everything will be all right.”
I turned to gather our things
but you grabbed my sleeve again.
You pulled me close and whispered
“Don’t worry about me,” you said.
“I never forgot about you.

Replaceable

If I disappeared tomorrow
Another writer would take my place
If I died suddenly and tragically
Any soul with a voice could carry my message
If I quit and walked away
Someone else would do my job
And If I decided I wasn't strong enough
Almost anyone could protect my friends
But if I vanished today
Would you miss me my love?
Or would someone just fill the void in your heart?
Would someone be able to take my place with you?
My place in your bed?
My place in your life?
My place in your heart?
Because if someone could my love
If someone could make you happy
Then let me step aside now
Let me disappear once and for all
Let someone else take my place
And bear the burdens that I carry now
If someone else can take my place for you
Let me go the way of ancient Gods
And disappear into oblivion
Let me nestle down at a truck stop
Somewhere on the edge of nowhere
There in the corner I'll sit
With my hat covering my face
Hiding, sulking, being replaced.
If I am truly expendable
Then let me go there
Because I grow weary of fighting
I grow tired of pressing on
I'd rather bow out with grace and applause
Then forever live a lie, doing another man's work
But if you'd miss me
Even for one moment on some distant day
Then I won't budge
I won't give
Because some things are worth fighting for
Some things are worth dying for
And if love is not such a thing
Then it's life itself that's a lie
And I am just a piece of a larger puzzle
That spans the entire universe
Making paper look oceans deep
So if you need me as much as you say
Then I'll be here
By your side
Never moving
Always fighting
Waiting until I do become replaceable
With my hat in hand
And my route to nowhere mapped out
On a napkin in the back of my mind

First Frost

It’s the first frost of the year
and there you lie
sleeping soundly
peaceful, like a child
It’s nights like these I remember
why I fell in love
Something about how we fit together
to keep each other warm
and how I’d gladly spend eternity
hand in hand, holding you close
It’s truly beautiful how our kisses
are shrouded in a cloud of vapor
How we can see our words
and how they linger in the air
as if to hold their meaning forever
while we tighten our grasps
the world is plunged into ice and snow
but like an old lady covering her flower
we protect each other from the howling winds
and offer shelter from the cold
That’s why on this coldest night
I fear no chill
I hate no wind
for while my body may shiver
and my fingers go numb
my trembling lips will always find yours
and will never speak another name

A Thousand Hands

You can hear the drums beating in the stands
Pounding out the chant of a thousand hands
From a lost generation that's been hurt too much
When we came out we were holding a crutch
They tell us that we're living in better times
Tell that to the tears rolling from our eyes
From drugs to guns man we've seen it all
When there was peace, I can't recall

Every morning I would go to school
To learn arithmetic and the golden rule
The big teacher taught us right from wrong
But on the playground right never lasted long
You see I learned more about reality
Getting kicked around and bloody-kneed
I spent my life curled in a ball
My hand broken from punching the wall
I tried to cry but the tears never came
Dig your nails deeper man, it's all the same
I was so filled with hate by the age of twelve
That into my heart, I dare not delve
Every night I'd ask the stars above
"Don't let me forget how to feel some love"
Right and wrong shift like the breeze
When you've living your life on your knees
I took my justice, in my hands
Because teacher wasn't there to make my stand
Though I was punished, I know not why
Right then I had to fight back or die

But now we're through living in your world
Consider this the first stone hurled
We're not letting life stay this way
too many have hurt, too many have paid
You've been deaf, for far too long
Even though you knew the truth all along
But I ask you world, "can you hear?"
The once-soft chorus is growing clear

You can hear the drums beating in the stands
Pounding out the chant of a thousand hands

Contempt

When every song on the record
is known all too well
When every note is just the one before the next
and every line just something to remember
When every high and low are etched into our minds
and their transitions too easy to predict
When every chord is heard first inside our skulls
and every bar just senseless repetition
That's when we reach for something new

When every word in the book
has been read a dozen times before
when every sentence is but a string of words
and every word a string of letters
When the pages are too torn to turn
and the images dulled by familiarity
And when the plot twists cease to amaze
and even feel like old friends
That's when we close the book

When every day is like the past
and every morning is riddled with deja vu
When everything is on automatic
and at night we can't remember a thing
When every cup of coffee feels the same
and every conversation played a dozen times before
And when every good knight kiss fails to comfort
and every "I love you" just another ritual
That when there's Hell to pay

A Price Too High

What's the point of it all?
What makes it all worthwhile?
I've lost everything to this
My life, my home and now my art
I simply have nothing left to give
Because while you comfort
You also take away
And while you create
You also destroy
I never planned on this
Straddling the while line
Between love and hate
I need your smile
And your comforting hand
I need your love
And you next to me at night
But I need myself as well my love
I need to be who I am
Because without myself I am no one
And if I am no one, then we are nothing
You've given me more than I can return
I could never count the smiles
Or all the memories you've brought me
But I can count the pains
And there's but one
The pain you created
When you took my soul
Your share in this package deal
But I can pay you no more my dear
Because now the price is just too high
Even a lifetime of happiness isn't worth this
Losing and forgetting who I am
Because even though I'd never be alone
You'd be sleeping with a corpse at night

Choices

I am but one person
I can not travel two trails at once
I can no more do all I desire
than split myself in two
and hurl myself down both paths
I can not sleep in a bed
and hope to keep it made
I can not read a book
while keeping total darkness
Nor can I hold the candle of love
while facing the winds of destiny
For what fills the heart
must also numb the mind
and what binds us together
will forever hold me back
But these are just choices my love
Choices that are made everyday
To play or to work
To dream or to wake
To love or to hate
To breathe or to die
We will make our choices love
We will cast our die
But know now, no matter what
that you and you alone
were the one to steal my heart
And should destiny call me away
you will be my greatest sacrifice

Dream Catcher

Hello my friend
whom I see looking down on me
like a ghost
dangling from my bedpost
Hello to he who call himself
dream catcher
or the catcher of dreams
You protect me
save me
and keep the nightmares away
But since I hung you
all those nights ago
I have not dreamt at all
Now every morning I wake up
and wonder if I've slept a wink
Have I no good dreams to dream?
Is there nothing good in my soul
left for me to dream about?
Oh dear dream catcher
the catcher of my dreams
I ask you humbly
with the kindest words
and the purest heart
To please catch a dream for me
Give me something to dream about
some reason to go to sleep
You must see many dreams
at least a million every night
So can you please spare one for me?
Please do not be selfish old friend
Please protect me no more
Because like a father who gouges
the eyes of his son
to protect him from the cruel world
you blind me to save me
and kill me to keep me alive
I beg you dear friend
let the dreams flow free tonight
Because now
more than any other night
I need the dreams you store

Like You

Get a job, get a life
and all that money stuff
Slave to God, slave to money
none of it cares about you
Two car garage, white picket fence
happiness is so cheap today
Blind your eyes, dull your thoughts
maybe then you’ll fail to see
that I don’t want to be like you

Nine to five, lunch at noon
how can this work for you?
Say your prayers, go to bed
Forget about what you want to do
Crush the dream, kill the hopes
it’s the right thing to do
Buy their shirts, make them rich
maybe they'll like you then
But I don’t want to be like you

Cut your hair, change your shoes
who cares if they work for you?
Punch the keys, do the work
and keep your smart mouth shut
Wash your hands, chew your food
don’t choke on the words I say
Raise your glass, drink your wine
and kiss your future goodbye
because I don’t want to be like you

Nothing Special

I know that I’m nobody
Nothing special at all
So please don’t cry for me
I’m just another
one of the many faces
praying to the rain
Take away my eyes
and drown out my voice
It doesn’t matter anymore
Don’t cover me with laurels
or decorate me with diamonds
I’m not worth it anyhow
I can’t care anymore
I know I’m worth nothing
not even the love you give to me
I’m just a broken one
a crushed little toy soldier
swept underneath the rug
No one cares about me
because no one knows me
So why even bother crying?
Just leave me alone
and make the world go away
I won’t make you happy anymore
All I do is bring pain
to those I love the most
and cripple myself all the while
Just hate me
like all of the others
It’d make things so much easier
What good is love anyhow
When it brings only heartbreak
time and time again?
I don’t know how to be genuine
I’ve lost the real me
somewhere in all of that trivia.
Everything now is just a reflection
a reflection of a broken soul
that was never worth anything
and will forever be nothing special




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Raven's Rants Book Cover

Raven's Rants:
The First Five Years


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