Doppelganger

No matter where we are or what time of the day or night it is, we are never truly alone. Deep within ourselves exists an alternate version of who we are, a twisted mirror image if you will, that reflects our very nature, all the while standing as a virtual polar opposite for the way the world sees us day in and day out.

For some of us, this person represents who we'd like to be, the ideal person we'd want to become in a perfect world or in another lifetime. For others, this person represents what we fear becoming, the soul that's lost control or the person hurdling down the wrong paths.

Nonetheless, day and night, that person is there, staring at us, watching us, living inside of us in our dreams, our thoughts and our ideas. This person, this doppelganger, is always there and even though many try to deny his or her existence, they too are haunted by this ghost and they're merely caught in a footrace, trying to outrun their mirror image, just holding on until it overtakes them.

There's no escaping this presence and there's no avoiding its creation. Perhaps it's our drive for balance that drives us to create this other human being within our minds. The need to tip the scales just a little bit the other way to avoid going completely mad while running full steam down our chosen trails.

But what it does is it makes all of us, every living human being, a cold, calculated study in opposites. Whether we're chasing our shadows or trying to flee them, we're still defined by them. Because, like it or not, our doppelganger reveals more about who we are than any persona we put forth in front of the world.

After all, we can control our smile, we can change our words and we can alter our appearances. All of those things can be as false as broken promises written upon counterfeit bills. But our doppelganger, our shadow self, is something we can't control and it never mirrors what we show the world, just what lies underneath.

Because, for there to be any shadow, there must be light and, be it the light of the sun or the light of truth, it cuts through the airs we put around ourselves and only shines on what is actually there.

That's why, even when I'm at my loneliest, I never try to run from my doppelganger nor do I try to catch him. Instead, I try to talk with him, find out what he has to say, learn from the shadow I cast in my own mind and find out what it says about me as a human being.

Because even though his reflection is like staring into murky water, it's still the most honest answer I get. More honest than my friends, more honest than my family and certainly more honest than my opinions of myself.

And even though I am often frightened by what I find out. I never discredit or disbelieve what it has to say. Simply put, though shadows do many things, they never lie and it is better to be frightened by the truth than calmed by a lie.

Besides, facing oneself, even in shadow form, is the first step to facing the world and the world, much like my doppelganger, is always waiting for me, looking back at me, challenging me and, personally, I'd have it no other way.

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12 Responses to Doppelganger

  1. Valkyrie December Mercy says:

    That was simply… amzing, to put it mildly. Again you have managed to make words escape me. This rant is so true, i've tried many times to capture something such as this, but you have done it. I fully agree and believe in such a thing, and that is what scares many people, the person who is their shadow, they fear it. I however, try to learn from it, and even though it can hurt, i too, would have it no other way. Again, amazing work, keep wrinting and never stop.

  2. Indriana says:

    you've done it again, you've caused me to think, to want to explore myself a little more deeply. Thank you.

  3. Shelly says:

    Your rants are just amazing to me. My "shadow" is evil and horrid. But ya know I like it. It is the real "me". You are Outstanding!

  4. Bran says:

    I had a dream once. Maybe it was my shadow posing as the snake, all set to eat me. Now that I think about it…

  5. Raven Nocturne says:

    Once again, food for thought. I love the way your rants make me see the world, and myself, in a different way. Your perspective on things are at times raw and brutal but who ever said the truth was pretty or pleasant to hear? Not much else to say really…Except well done.

  6. Fringe Dweller says:

    Facing and accepting one's Shadow is one of the first steps to perfecting yourself. This 'rant' proves that you're already well along that path.

    I recommend the writings of Stuart Wilde. The insights he has to offer might help you further along. Or they might not.

  7. Amy says:

    How do you pronounce "Doppelganger"?

  8. Vivi says:

    Hmmm, very interesting repertoire. Sounds a bit reminiscent of Jungian dream archetypes. For those who aren't familiar with Carl Jung's work, he was a famous psychologist that started exploring the secret language of dreams around the same time Sigmund Freud was doing the same. Jung came to theorize that in every person's dream there are seven different archetypes: the Wise Old Man, the Trickster, the Persona, the Shadow, the Anima/Animus, the Divine Child, and the Great Mother. The reason I mention this is because your "doppelganger" is very familiar to the Shadow archetype. Just something that caught my eye.

  9. unsung says:

    love this rant soo true. And soo well said.
    Good gear

  10. david says:

    when i was a small boy i often used to be convinced that there was some "thing" right behind me, always. I usually had this feeling at night, in the basement of my house. I felt that no matter how quickly I turned around, it would always be able to turn with me so that I would never see it. I was afraid of it, and sensed that it could do me harm, but for some reason, I also felt that it wouldn't do me harm. I remember being convinced that it never followed me all the way up the stairs. As an adult, I used to reflect on this as just a silly product of a child's imagination. But as I get older I'm starting to wonder if I've lost touch with something really important, vital even.

  11. Adeen says:

    I love your writing on this. It is not only very true but you have a very deep insight. I must say though that the doppelganger aswell as ones shadow is a negative aspect. Now someone can aspire to be someone or something better than what they are but this is not reflected in ones shadow, for your shadow is composed of your negativity, fears and hidden evil desires. Your shadow self doesnt need to be so strong. One can manipulate it in order to become a more fufilled and wholesome person. Some say that coming in contact with this other self, doppelganger, shadow ectera results in a three fold revenge, coming right back at you and you find yourself, becoming your own shadow. Still, I think that if you are ready to face your shadow, your fears and negative energy that is reflected in your doppelganger, it can be used as a healer and even dissapear. Become its friend, and understand it– learn how it thinks, be able to identify its secrets and desires, its fears and its insecurities, then you can make twist it, use it to heal yourself by accepting and changing the shadow thats haunting you. Shadow work is not for everyone, but i believe that those who desire the results of eradicating thier own doppelganger and are willing to step into the dark, can conqure it and create a type of light that will make that penetrating darkness within your second self dissapate. Wow im sorry i didnt mean to go on like that…i get into things like this 😉
    thanks 🙂
    good stuff youve got there by the way- just adding in a personal opinion

  12. reina says:

    wow vivi, is ur name from FF9? (totally random)…and i studied the theories of both freud and jung…(al tho a bit odd for a 12 yr old, but i found the subject fascinating and continue to read about more at 14) well ur writing makes a lot of sense…strangely, everything you write is how i feel, but put into words. well done is all i can say…i've heard the term doppleganger used in many shows(mostly anime) that i have watched before, so im pretty sure u say "do-pl-gang-(as in the word "gang")-er(as in merge or water)

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