Questions

Here we go again.
We're right back where we began.
Please don't act surprised
And don't pretend that you can't understand
What all of this is about.
You know that I'm always going to be me
Wondering, curious, stupid little me
Asking the questions that I can never keep at bay.
I mean, is this love the best for me?
Or does it hold me down?
By clipping my wings
Making me as useless
And as pathetic as the caged eagle.
Do I make you happy?
Or is this love an illusion
Another trick my mind has played on me?
And what about all of the fun
That I could have had?
And the things I'll never see?
I have to wonder if happiness is eluding me
Or if I am deluding myself
Drinking deep from the liquor
Of infatuation and selfish pride.
Would I be happier with someone else?
Could they make me feel special?
Could they make me feel loved?
Could we survive long nights alone?
You know, maybe this is all out of convenience
Perhaps love is just another shortcut through life
And we're just too lazy
To pack our stuff and move away.
Maybe, just too scared to try.
Am I fooling myself?
Pretending you were someone else.
Wondering why you stay around
When you know I get this way.
You have to face it my dear
I'll always bring you tears
I'll always play upon your fears
I'm always going to bring you down.
I just wish I were as strong as you.
Oh well, I guess that makes me envious too.
Maybe I just don't have a clue
Of what love means anymore.
I guess I'm just not the kind of guy
Who was meant to settle down
Or the kind that was meant to have a home
Sleeping with the same woman night after night.
Sometimes the only thing
That makes me want to stay
Is how you're always there for me.
Because whenever the questions disappear
And I wipe away the tears
I see you smiling back at me.
You've never once gotten mad at me
Nor the least bit bitter for what I've said.
You've just calmly held my hand
And told me that you understand.
No matter what hell I've put you through
You're there for me
Comforting me
And that's why I can't push you away.
Because every time I wipe my tears
I want to see you there
Smiling back at me.
You know, perhaps I question
Purely for the sake of questioning
Or perhaps it's my messed up human nature
Making me always wonder what I'm missing.
But as long as you stand by my side
And calmly hold my hand
I promise to pull through
Because even in my darkest hour
I cannot question how you feel.
It's all too obvious that you love me.
Even though I'll never know why.
Until the day I die, I'll never doubt
What you feel for me
And how you're always there for me
With your smiling face
And your loving eyes
Peeking through my tears
As I wipe them from my face.
You make me love you
And even though sometimes
I want to hate you for that
All I can do is love you back.
Because to find someone as special as you
Is such a rare and beautiful thing
That to pass it up now for any reason
Or anyone
Is an idea so ridiculous
It is beyond all questioning.

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One Response to Questions

  1. Violent Carl & Heather G. says:

    awesome!!!! totally raw and truthful!!!

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