The Lie of Love

It's on the lips of the heartbroken and downtrodden, it's in the poetry of the cheated-on and the abandoned and it's in the hearts of the abused an trampled, those four little words, "Love is a lie!"

But love is not a lie, nor is it a trap to make you weep or a game played by fools and other over-emotional buffoons. Love is as real as the air we breathe, the earth we walk on and the water we drink. It's there, always lurking, often hiding but always around and waiting to strike.

The lie of love isn't that it doesn't exist but rather the fairy tale the world has made it out to be. Every story that ends in "happily ever after" has had but one moral, that all you need is love and if you have that, everything in the world will be perfect.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

While love is important and a beautiful thing, it is just one of many factors in determining how happy one truly is. There are millions of people who are passionately enthralled in perfect love, but are still completely miserable. At the same time, there are just as many people who have never even approached the idea of love, but are leading happy and content lives.

Love is no key to happiness, nor is it the grand answer or mighty pinnacle of existence. It's just another factor and like having lots of money, a great job or unimaginable success, it does nothing to guarantee happiness. If the cliché "money can't by happiness" is to be believed, so must the mantra of "love doesn't guarantee joy."

But that doesn't change the fact that from the day we're born until the day we die, we're told what love and happiness means. Every romance story in print and on the screen bombards us with images that make it clear beyond a shadow of a doubt that with love, happiness ensues and without it, there's nothing but misery and bitterness.

The truth is bitter, this I know, but this lie cannot be tolerated any longer. It has done more to drive the masses to the brink of insanity than anything. With so many running around in a misguided quest for love, seeing it as some holy grail of happiness, they're only set up for more pain, more anguish and many walk away with the words "love is a lie" streaming from their lips.

Let the truth be known from this day forth that yes, love is great, love is beautiful and love is wonderful, but real happiness comes from within and love is no magic cure for all the ailments of the heart. Happiness, like the other mysteries of life, is little more than a jigsaw puzzle that must be assembled within each of us. There are no easy answers, quick fixes or cheap tricks to get us to the end goal and each of us must look for the real answers, not in the lie of love, but within ourselves, our actions and our goals.

Take it from me dear reader, take it from me all, the key to the future, your future, is in your hands and no one can unlock it for you. Love is not a key to unlock an enchanted door, but a tool to build your own happiness and your own better existence.

Because if there's one thing I've learned during my time on this planet, it's that none of life's mysteries are easy and the minute you rely on someone or something else to provide the answers for you, you've taken the first step to leading yourself astray and possibly to your own destruction.

A destruction that eats you literally from the inside out..

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35 Responses to The Lie of Love

  1. Hannah says:

    AMEN!

  2. Indriana says:

    You're lucky you're love is real…the love I thought I had and returned with all my hear turned out to be a lie, a lie for the right reasons but a lie nonetheless. I do understand where you're coming from, though. It doesn't fix anything, love, it merely gives you another experiece, another way to look at the world. It's beautiful and painful and all too real…if you're lucky.

  3. Amber says:

    I honestly believe all that you have said. The very reason that we are totally destroyed from what we thought was once so wonderful, or at least hoped it to be, was because we think that love and happiness are something they truly aren't. If only we would wake up and realize that there are problems along the way, trials and tribulations, and that the story does not end in the bliss it is potrayed as ending in, then maybe, just maybe, we could forget love being a "lie."

  4. Ruby Gloom says:

    I couldnt agree more. I have found that perfect love, and yet life still sucks. Im always depressed and completely miserable. Go figure…

  5. Devyn says:

    this is so true, i know because i had the chance to be blessed by the love of an angel who turned out to be everything but, however i still see the beauty of love.

  6. Whitney says:

    I jus wanted to thank you for giving me a whole different outlook on life and love. I jus recently broke up with someone I truly care about and I still care about them but i realized that I had it in my mind that i needed love to be happy and I don't and your right it does eat you from the inside out thank you again

  7. Ty says:

    I haven't found love yet, and I am unhappy, but who knows, maybe I can be. This gives me a lot of hope and I take it 2 heart.

  8. tanya says:

    hey, hey! couldn't have said it better myself. i'm basically happy most of the time. very passionate–so that when i'm down, hell i'm real down, ya know. been in love. am in love. but only one time did i make the mistake of hoping for that emotion to fulfill. it simply does not. love is icing on a cake that only you can bake yourself. so to speak.

  9. Mr Cube says:

    I'm sorry, but it doesn't "literally" eat from the inside out. Cancer can literally eat a person from the inside out, not a broken heart. That choice of wording literally made me cringe.

  10. Eponine says:

    Honestly, that was the single most wonderful discription of "The Lie Of Love" I have ever read. I finally just found someone worthwhile, and I'm not ecstatic like the fairy tales say I should be. But you really said everything the right way, and now I know. Thanks!

  11. Lacey says:

    Love.Poets and many of our greatest writers have written about it for centuries. Artists have fought to capture and immortalize it in their paintings and sculptures. It's joy, it's heartbreak, it's beauty and it's sorrow. Love's a funny thing. So simple and yet so complex at the same time. We as humans are so fascinated with it that it is true that many people search their whole lives for it; and a lucky few find it. However, contrary to what so many of us believe, I agree that love doesn't solve everything. While the fairytale romance is a pretty idea, that's all it is; a fairytale. I myself am part romantic, part realist and I also agree that if we become bitter because we expected too much from a certain relationship and were dissappointed, it doesn't mean that we should harden our hearts and give up on it. Real love is wonderful, but it's not easy. As the great poet Virgil once said:
    "Omnia Vincit Amor."

  12. Bran. says:

    Babe… That reminds me of The Crow. My most favorite movie in all of existence.

  13. heather says:

    That was beatiful saddening and a very exellent point all at once

  14. VikVik says:

    I agree with you that a lot of people think love is a big fat fairy tale.

  15. Haze says:

    wow… you have a lot of good work. i'm very impressed as i read more of your work.

  16. Mark 'Monk' Sandino says:

    So very true about "love". Love is happiness?……….just a threshold for sadness and pain and nothing more. Yes, we can be really happy with love…………….but for how long? nothing is forever……We live in a dimension where our chains are jerked through our whole life. Life is a mystery and full of doubts. I believe that when we transition to the spiritual dimension, perhaps true and eternal love will exist………………

    Mark 'Monk' Sandino

  17. heather says:

    thank you so much raven i also have had that qoute streaming from my broken heart love is a lie on a happier note youre insight on it has give me a new perspective and for that i am deeply grateful

  18. Dan says:

    The person who said "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.", apparently has never lost a true love or felt the pain that accompanies it.

  19. Michael says:

    Your right, Love should not be played at like it is a fairy tale object but its surely to my own opinion…Love and Happiness do not co inside.

    What i've said to everyone who believes in Love…
    "Love is a waste of time, non existant, and a worthless use of emotion!"

  20. brian says:

    sad that this is true
    but it is
    about time some one said it

  21. Ashley says:

    Love is a lie…
    i can't begin to tell you how many times that phrase has issued from my lips. It's a phrase for the heartbroken and downtrodden as you said. After reading this, I realised that it's not worth my tears or anger. Love has been warped into some unorthidox fairytale. But this particular rant has broght to my attention that love is as real as anything and we shouldn't use it to get through the day because you can't rely on anything. you can only rely on yourself.

  22. Kat says:

    God, you are so right. And it took me until just now to see it. I think you just made my day. All this time, that's what I've been doing. The "holy grail of happiness" indeed. I think I can move on now and stop searching for love. You are right, and I can't thank you enough for expressing this so perfectly.

  23. Gabriel says:

    Wow, i think you just made my day 🙂

  24. charlie says:

    so so so true
    i've finaly found sum1 that agrees and all the people that have told me never to fall in love it will only hurt u n i never beleived u- i'm sorry u were so right. 🙁

  25. Mydnite says:

    its beautiful. the truth is that love hurts wen its not mutual and is the ultimate drug wen it is. i just wish i could tell my heart wat to do, it fell in love once, it was broken again and again because of it. if only i could just avoid love forever.

  26. Reyna says:

    Even those of us who have experienced that in flesh and bone could have put it in more perfect words:)

  27. Justin says:

    I think love is nothing but a fantasy. A fantasy that leads you into a false sence of hope.

  28. markus says:

    Love is that place I go when I close my eyes and see her, that image and perfection that my mind has created. I am never more sad than when I awake from her.

  29. Jessica says:

    Some people love to live a fantasy, and some people enjoy living in reality. Love is not so far from the both. In fantasy love is supposed to conquer all. While, in reality it is either obtained or taken. I agree what happens to a person is up to them. That money really can not fill the void of love. Because money can not buy anything. Love in my world only can be fatal or embraced. It really is up to me as to what will happen in my life.

  30. pyardhoka says:

    Love is like glass so pure and beautiful when it lasts;Harsh,cruel and destructive when it breaks

  31. Sam says:

    You have made more sence to me then anyone else has ever about love. Wow.

    Thats all just wow.

  32. Sabrina says:

    Raven, would you agree or disagree that what is within is love? would you agree with whatever you have around you is your interpretation of love? Love is the only thing that exists?

  33. Anna says:

    I wish someone had told me all this sooner, I'm just beginning to figure it all out. If I ever have kids someday I will be sure to warn them about love and to teach them how to be more self-reliable, or at least teach them how not let falling in love screw up their lives too badly.

  34. jayson says:

    i am completely self-reliant i have to be love has never been in my life and probably never will but your thoughts on the subject are very nice i was completely enthrawled by this topic and it interested me greatly

  35. Memyselfandi says:

    After going through a divorce from what I thought was the love of a life time, I did a lot of soul searching. I came to a point where I didn't believe love really existed. This helped me understand.
    Understand that I need to love myself before anyone else can. To understand that two halves cannot make a whole unless both halves are whole unto themselves. Thank you for writing this. And to that person who said love can't eat you from the inside out. I wish you well. You haven't experienced and lost it. That much is obvious.

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