Love Hurts

When whoever uttered the words, "We always hurt the ones we love," spoke that truism, they probably had no idea exactly how right they were and continue to be.

For hearts are fragile things, weak and soft they're easily broken, smashed and crushed. That's why most of us don't wear our hearts on our sleeves, and guard this intimate part of ourselves with great zeal.

That makes it very difficult to hurt the man on the street. You really have to go out of your way to break through that exterior shell and get to what really hurts. It's not easy, but it can be done.

But with someone you love, and someone who loves you, that shell isn't there. That wonderful protective barrier that we all throw up against the world is nonexistent and in the beauty of love we trust our dearest not to crush our delicate emotions or break our fragile hearts.

But even when the love is true and genuine, accidents happen. With a proverbial flick of the wrist or a prod of the finger, an exposed heart can fall to pieces. We don't mean to, we don't try to, but when handling something as delicate as trust, the slightest fumble can open the floodgate of tears.

In response to this, many bury their hearts deep within, never to let anyone come close regardless of how worthy. While they lead protected, comfortable lives, they hide themselves from love and all it has to offer. It's an understandable act when you account for the pain, but it does nothing to fulfill, create, or inspire.

However others refuse to run from the pain. They glue the shattered pieces of their heart back together and move on, forgiving when appropriate, forgetting when necessary. Sometimes a broken heart can mean a goodbye, sometimes it's just a new beginning, but for these people, it's never the end, just another obstacle to overcome.

So while the adage of "love hurts" is a truism. I hope I never get so scared that I run away. For all of the pain and anguish love has brought me throughout my life, it has also brought me the greatest rewards. It's one of the few things in life in which you truly get out of it, what you put into it.

When it comes to matters of the heart, the patient and brave shall inherit the earth. I have been very patient my friends, I just hope now I am brave enough to carry on. Carry on into the future; carry on forever, seeing past the bad to enjoy the good, moving past the heartbreaks to cherish the heart-swells.

That alone is my goal now, that alone is my goal forever.

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51 Responses to Love Hurts

  1. CyRuS says:

    This is a terrific piece for anyone who is down-trodden and feeling incapable of loving or being loved. It actually made my day and picked me up a bit.

  2. Roogen says:

    never have i read anything more truthful!

  3. Aimee says:

    I really think this is a wonderful piece and i can really relate to as i am trying to get over heartbreak myself. Even hearts made of still can shatter with a single breath.

  4. Jenna says:

    That really touched me. I have been having to deal with a lot of pain. I had a heartbreak once before… moved on… and then had another one with twice the amount of pain… and I just cant get over it…I can ignore it…. but it always comes back. The memories…the touch… I will come back and read this when I think about these things…hopefully, it will help.

  5. Argentium Stain says:

    the "Truism" of this piece is correct. We hide our true seves all of the time. Maybe we should just think for once.

  6. Ashley (Raye) says:

    Dear Raven,
    I am in dougt that you remember me, nor is it important; but I was one of the many who copied your masterpeices, almost one by one (or at least how I favored them), and placed them on my own site with only the phrase, "There's a little Raven in us all…" at the bottom of each entry that belonged to you. You wrote to me in angered words, which is understandable; but I would like for you to know that I didn't know the correct ways of giving credit, and I was indeed greedy. Well, this rant of your's, "Love Hurts" was the ONE I fell in love with. I would like for you to know that the way you write and express your opinion is easy for the reader to follow and relate to — which I know is one of the many goals a writer wants to have. I AM sorry for what I did, and even though I'm just now getting around to apologizing to you correctly, I do, indeed, regret it. I DID get rid of all that I copied from you, as I told you back then. It's Thanksgiving today, as I write to you; so happy thanksgiving and keep up your wonderful work of the heart.

    Just me,

  7. Hana says:

    i totally agree with this piece, it really puts the whole damn thing into perspective…love is pain.

  8. pissedonfairy says:

    that is so touching and true how do u know so many thing i love to write myself but every time i do and share so many people get hurt in the process is this a price u have/had to pay i only speak the trut and my mind which often leaves me to wonder alone which isnt good for a 15yr old girl p.s areu ever online?lol plz relply

  9. Dia Maxwell says:

    I can really relate to this. i let someone see the real me and he left. i don't know exactly why but he said that he didn't see us together in the future. the ironic thing is, we were going to get married. about a week later he begged me to take him back. i ended up screaming at him to let me go and since then i've had no contact except for one letter that i wrote, which got no response. i didn't really expect one but it still hurt. since then i've retreated into my thoughts becoming more depressed every day. so much so, they've upped my dosage for antidepressants. i don't think that i'll ever be able to trust anyone like Joe again.

  10. "David" says:

    …then there are those who set out on a mission to hurt other people – sometimes not to get hurt themselves – sometimes to avenge their own hearts.

    These are called "Me-Up" people.

    Me-Downs are the ones who keep on trying.

    Me-Out are the one who just quit falling in love.


  11. Nina says:

    I was played like a card by Zack….sad…my lifes already a living hell…but now this…im off dating for months :'(

  12. Skibum1 says:

    Maybe we don't understand Love, therefore we cannot comprehend or decide what the limits of Love contain. I agree that Love can be painful and wonderful, and both at once. I think we still find ourselves asking, "What is Love?"

  13. Valerie says:

    What a wonderful place it would be if we could walk around with no barriers up.

    But there will always be an antagonist, a snake lurking in the shadows waiting to rain cruelty and pain on others.

    Its not really about trusting the person you "love". Its about trusting yourself to pick one who is worthy of your trust.

    "Trust no one"
    So how come I am trusting myself, my own worse enemy?

  14. Alicia .M. says:

    ~Beautiful~ nothing shall and nothing more will be said, but Beautiful

  15. dark dreamer says:

    yeah love does hurt…but a friend told me "you go through so many heartbreaks before you find the right one" and thats true in alot of cases but not all. some dont find a love at all, some its the first person they date. But i believe that the pain is worth it when you find the right one because you have so many happy memories. But for me, i recently got suspended from school for getting into a fist fight with my ex. Yeah so im givin up on guys for a while. Plus i kinda wonder, do i really need to be inlove? Should i rush into it? Itll happen when it happens.

  16. dark dreamer says:

    srry i had to say this, but how can you trust the person your with? how do you know if theyre truly faithful? This haunts me whenever im with someone. After all, do you really know a person?

  17. vot says:

    Ironic it is – reading this when I think the same way, too.
    Love is not to be abandonned tonight.

  18. Dan says:

    all i can say is that this is a great ""rant"" i have been a long time reader of your poetry but never looked in this section of the website and i have to say that i like it alot and will be returning frequently.

  19. Black_Soul says:

    i love this rant. it opens my eyes about love. everything in this rant is true. i was just feeling bad about my ex bf. it got me not feeling so bad. Keep up this awesome work. i love it alot.

  20. tom mulley says:

    truthfully im not a huge fan of your poetry but my god you make more sense than any psychiatrist could ever. the sheer amount of times ive thought simmilar things is amazing. u think like i do.
    i first came on this site looking for inspiration for band names and songs. i found a hell of a lot more. well done its good to know theres someone in this grey world who has there head firmly between their shoulders rather than up their arse.
    nice work man…….. tom mulley>banbury>england

  21. luis says:

    i think we all the pains of love well enough to agree with what you have said, I am now going trough a bad break up and i dont think i can be courageous anymore,,,
    maybe this is goodbye

  22. Maranda says:

    Yes love hurts, but I ALWAYS go back to my boyfriend because everyone has thier ups & downs, no relationship is PERFECT

  23. Brittani says:

    I understood every word of that, Raven. I respect everything you say, and this particular rant touched my very soul. Thank you so much for bringing reality into the place we call siciety. Your rants and poems are my only true sanity in this world. Thank you.

  24. Barbara says:

    What if I do not have the strength anymore. I need to be a mother right now, I need to get a better job, pay my debts, and these things require a lot of energies. I just can't afford to have my heart broken now. Or anymore. The problem is I can't help wanting the shell to disappear. Although I know it is the wrong time and with the wrong somebody. What's wrong with people like me, why can't we just stop falling?
    Or is our heart just a muscle that needs to sweat and suffer to bicome bigger and stronger?
    And then, why do we keep on talking about our heart, while we all know our emotions are in our brain. Should we not start thinking about this: reason and emotions come from the SAME part of our body. We keep talking as if they were so far away… it is just another side of the brain…
    Are you sure we should not learn to live in peace with ourselves (with the two sides of the brain) by learning to control our emotions, in a way that they cannot hurt anymore? Are you sure we are loosing something useful in our lives? Could we not simply read it on books, watch it in Hollywood movies?
    Tell me I am wrong.
    (P.S.:I am Italian, forgive my bad English)

  25. Bloodflowers says:

    I totally agree with everything you say from personal experience. The first time I fell in loved I was overwhelmed with happiness, failing to see the pain that it causes when it leaves you. After I managed to pick my life up again I 'detached' myself from people as I feared the pain, after being heartbroken it is incredibly difficult to see hope and hard to believe that anything good can come out of it if you start again. However if love returns, its incredibly difficult to see any signs of hopelessness or pain through the joy it brings.

  26. nav says:

    Dear Raven

    I have just but a few of ya stories and poems and already my heart has melted and its like you say what i think on a daily basis. Bless you and all that you bring 🙂


  27. Amanda says:

    these words are like the ones everyone feels but are to afraid to show. I love this rant cause it is what I know and have to live with. When your heart breaks it is good to know you are not the only one who feels that way

  28. Tikerial says:

    Im not entirely sure what all to say on this peice… I beleive that on many levels I am becoming entirely infatuated with you and your work Raven… There is much truth in what you have said here, and I in my life have experianced all you have stated… in my life I have seen these pains and weaknesses and tried to adapt if you will..and in my arrogance I would probly beleive that in many ways I have learned to shrug off or endure the pains of love, but I know that I have honestly and truely loved thrice and I cannot deny that I have been hurt for each, even though I am still with one of those loves and fortunately friends with those I can no longer be with. I would simply say that love is bothe the best and worse thing that can happen in life. Also on a more personal note, I do not know if this would be agreeable or arrangeable, but I would very much like to speak with you in some manner of real time conversation.(IM via AIM, Yahoo, or MSN perhaps?)I would absolutely sharing thoughts, opinions, beleifs or anything that came up. It isnt often that one finds an individual of such deep understanding and thinking, and I cant pass up the opportunity without atleast asking…

  29. Kat says:

    How is it that you're able to understand these things and put them into beautiful, simple words, while I can hardly think about them without being utterly lost and confused? I'm glad you can. Because everything you say helps me understand, and expresses exactly what I feel and what I'm going through. I'm grateful I'm not alone, and I'm grateful for you and your wonderful thoughts.

  30. saps says:

    it was such a beautiful piece..If ppl love us, them why do they levae us and then hurt us..there is no such things called love, it is only pain and misery..hey..can u mail me a nice 3 min soul searching piece on "first love and why it is so difficult to forget ur first love?"…say withina day or two..i have a speech to be givena nd i want to pour my heart boyfreind left me and he was my first love and im overcome with greif, im unable to even pen down my sorrow

  31. Claudia says:

    Raven, I totally feel for your "Love Hurts" post. It's so true. People tell you I'll never hurt you but they just can't say that because they most likely will. It's the same with guys they say they love you and they could move on in a second. Love bites. It's rough. I personally have become cynical of everything related to love. Love at first sight just seems ridiculous to me. How can you love someone you don't even know?

    Claudia….Raven your poems "In The Dark" and "Picture Perfect" are like I wrote them myself. You do some really amazing things when you write. I hope you keep writing….

  32. Jessica says:

    I have been driving down a very difficult road, full of heartaches. It sucks a**, but you are so right, we need to forgive when appropriate and forget when necessary. I have forgiven alot in my life, and i am only 14, but it seems so hard to forget although i try like hell. This rant really helped me to realize that there are others that feel like I do. Thank you

  33. Kelly says:

    As with everyone else, I simply adore this piece. I've always been a jaded person, almost to the point of cruelty but I had thought I found "the one" when I met a man (online, no less) whose name was also Raven. From day one, he intrigued me. Even his screen name reminded me of things I loved: PessimystRaven. I simply adored Alice Cooper's song "Pessi-mystic" so I was hooked. He was intelligent, cynical, who appreciated and matched my geekiness and affinity for the unusual. He even brought the subject of marriage a few times.

    But he was one who buried his heart so deeply within himself, that it caused us to part- more than once- on less than civil terms. He kept running away from the one person that could offer him pure affection and true adoration. I even forgave him twice for running away from love.

    This was the last time. People that are so untouchable are like herion- addicting and deadly. I used to think it was so beautiful, this fragile man that ran away from such intense love. These people are unwittingly toxic… it made me want to give up all hope. But reading this makes me want to fight harder and find someone, not be one of those poisonous people anymore. Thank you.


  34. Angela says:

    "In response to this, many bury their hearts deep within, never to let anyone come close regardless of how worthy."

    Unfortunately, I AM one of those people. But, I do get close to people…but not to close. It's a constant paranoia. A voice inside of your head. Like a disease almost…Perhaps it is.

    But either way, once again, very emotional,…interesting. -And truthfull.


  35. Amber says:

    I really like this piece it is beautiful. Unfortunately I am feeling the pain of heartbreak. I wish it didn't hurt so bad. But our parents always tought us to love and keep everyone you tust close to your heart well they never taught us about the hurt when one of the "loved ones" steps out. I have had a hard time with this one so I guess we all eventually learn to guard our hearts.

  36. kita says:

    me and my b.f are havin a break i dont want it bt if he dus i will go along with it i no if we split now we will never get bk 2 geva and we will b apart 4 eva and eva!! i car let this happen my heart is broken we av bin 2 geva 4 neary a year and 2day we av not spoken im cryin inside my heart is weepin can sum one plz bring im bk so i can keep im i love him so much i neva wanna loose im eva agen i love im so much 10 out of 10 xXx

  37. michele says:

    I like Kelly (Sept 2005) and Amanda (Dec 2004) Feel the same as the two of them. Only it is more difficult for me because I never should have fallen in love with this man in the first place. We had a 6 year relationship, one year off, we got back last year and things were never the same, so I ended it, in someways I regretted that, but I know that it is for the best, because he is controlling and a long time user of women, but there was so much good about him too. I like this piece, it hits home, and like other in this list, I am glad I am not alone… I just want the hurting to stop and move on. I thought he was the love of my life…

  38. annie says:

    i think that this piece is beautiful! we all need to realise though that there are plently more fish in the sea, and if someone breaks up with you then just remember, being single is fun! there are loads of opportunities and you can go to a party and get off with anyone you want! no strings attached!

  39. Jess says:

    This is something you can never forget in your life. If you read this, rememer this in some cases love does hurt but you have to go on with you life and find that part in your life that makes you happy!

  40. Tim says:

    Wow, still going through a separation, these are uplifting words. I have been accused of being too outspoken and hurtful, but this isn't my nature. I am a well devoted father, and thought husband. I have tried to say things that were on my mind, only to be criticized and used back against me. So I didn't say anything. Communication ended and so did the marriage. I did love my ex, just don't think it was the other way around.

  41. anonomous says:

    very tru…

  42. Jessica says:

    Love hurts but thats whats so great about it. If it was easy to fall in love you would brake it.

  43. Jessica says:

    Love hurts but thats whats so great about it. If falling in love was so easy then we would brake it.

  44. trixie says:

    Whats hurt??

    -controlling your feeling to prevent hurting a friend…

  45. Katcher says:

    This rant is realy helpful…
    espesialy in the situation im in now…

  46. Ms. Sad Ness says:

    I remembered the look in your face when I left. No words to share with you the reasons why. Now, things have changed for you and me. I don't know who you are now. And so do you. All my dreams drifted away together with you when I left. But then somehow you moved on. And perhaps you find someone new. I don't want to reminisce the past for it will only make me cry. Someone told me you are alone now? But then you maybe you loved her so much that you couldn't see anyone anymore. Don't tell me you already stop loving? The way you used to feel maybe have been long forgotten. It's been so long since I last saw you and now we met again. I can't describe the feeling I have. I hope if you ever long to find someone, I hope its me to lend a hand.

  47. Ms. Sad Ness says:

    I remembered the look in your face when I left. No words to share with you the reasons why. Now, things have changed for you and me. I don't know who you are now. And so do you. All my dreams drifted away together with you when I left. But then somehow you moved on. And perhaps you find someone new. I don't want to reminisce the past for it will only make me cry. Someone told me you are alone now? But then you maybe you loved her so much that you couldn't see anyone anymore. Don't tell me you already stop loving? The way you used to feel maybe have been long forgotten. It's been so long since I last saw you and now we met again. I can't describe the feeling I have. I hope if you ever long to find someone, I hope its me to lend a hand.

  48. Scott says:

    this is kick ass!

  49. San says:

    hi Raven,

    Beautiful material you have penned down here.Well Said..!!! Yes Love Hurt too much.. but we shouldn't forget the passion to live and move on . For me, one who cares and loves you will never leave you or hurt you.its just that we made a mistake in finding tureness there. and never to forget this, She or He was never worth rock !! .forgive and forget and wish them good. Thats it… Life is beautiful enjoy every bit of it.!!!!


  50. 2 Whom It May Concern says:

    THAT IS SO TRUE! Love does hurt. Really it does. I have been hurt so much and now I am traveling alone. This sums it up so much its as if you read my mind and put it into words.

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